Overstepped the Line

Overstepped the line today and showed the most disrespect to my Master,which i do not expect to be forgiven for, so this may be the last entry in this blog. I cannot right the wrong for what i did and was not called for. Frustration and anger set in and i did not hold my tongue as i supposed have done.
Things were spoken on both parts, which hurt one another. If i am to return to being on my own, so be it, i do not expect anything more. My heart is breaking, but i only have myself to blame.

Doing Okay

Doing okay, i guess.
Looking forward in Master getting his new computer, hopefully things can get back to normal then.

Update

Slowly beginning to get my sleeping pattern to some reasonable times and not having many nightmares,as of yet. I am hoping that the nightmares have finally quit after a few weeks of having them on a nightly basis, which were making me ill and unable to serve my Master to my best ability.
I love my Master so much and am very thankful that he has more patience with me than what i do for myself, coz i would have quit on myself a long time ago.

Sleep Deprivation

For the past few weeks, one has been having serious problems with sleeping. The same nightmare occurs on a very regular basis and it is something that is now beginning to effect my whole life. It is getting me down and keeping me there, even though my Master has mentioned a few things to me. One thing i try very hard to do, but unable to do such, i get close but then shake so hard, uncontrollably. As my nightmare is about drowning, and i have a fear of such, it was suggested that i try to place my face in a bowl of water, which i am unable to do. As a child i went under water at a swimming pool, when out on a school swimming lesson. From that day onwards i have had a fear of drowning. Why i am getting the same nightmare i do not know. It has only been happening since moving back into my old childhood room. Whilst i was sleeping on the couch, i had nightmares yes, now and then, but nothing as strong as what this one is. Gee, i mean, every night? Surely there is something wrong with this.
Went for tests and scans after seeing my doctor. I have now been contacted by the doctor who has the resuts back. Nervousness and worry set in more, as i have to wait until Monday to see him, and find out what, if anything, is wrong.
I feel such a burden upon Master and i do admit i did beg release, knowing that one is unable to serve her Master as well as she should be able to. Of course, Master said no, he would not release me, just because i am goin through bad health at this moment. He is in this for the long haul and i am so very happy to have heard such. To lose my Master now will mean i will lose everything. I love him very much and it hurt me to beg release more than anyone will ever know.
Still, i feel like i am drifting from my Master and i know not why, not distancing myself, i dont mean that. There is just something that doesnt feel right, but i know not what