Honesty Is The Best Policy

Really not sure what is going on with her, as she just don't feel like doing anything. Maybe the weather is not helping as it has not stopped raining all day and doesn't look like stopping anytime soon. She feels herself cringe often when the *c* command is said,making her feel dirty and used, though also feeling like it is her duty to do so, sometimes forcing herself to do what has been commanded.
Must admit, though rare, she has been faking at times, as she wishes not to displease her Master. Now this said, she probably has displeased him, owning up to this fact of lying. Keeping things from him is not what she wants to do, she only wants to please and all she is doing is the total opposite.
Studying is the last thing from her mind, she really has not got the patience, concentration span or quietness she needs to do such, so she gave up studying ages ago. Another thing she expects Master to have a go at her for. If he doesn't then she knows that he is not really interested in what she does or doesn't do, and will make her think just what we have got together. When study is mentioned she automatically thinks of Gorean study, though maybe, as she thinks about it, it may mean other studies. Oh how I wish Master was more specific in what he wants, desires. Why does it have to be full of guessing games, or me having to ask stupid questions, which he may think I should already know. Well, sorry to say, I have many untold talents, but mind reading is not one of them, and never will be.
I am sure there is more I couldput here,but to be honest,i have lost concentration, so will close here.