One Chapter Ends as Another Begins

It has been two weeks today since the passing of this ones grandad. Things have been rather emotional with her family and this one trying to stay strong and not showing her own feelings. Friday we had a real good send off for him and a lot of the family were present. One thinks there must have been around fifty of us who turned up and had a real good time. It was not a usual service, as right from the start as soon as this one heard the music upon entry, she began to chuckle which started off a few other people. It just cascaded from there and the only tears which were shed were tears of laughter, just how Grandad would have liked.
Today was the day we scattered Grandads ashes where his wife's (this ones Nan) ashes were scattered twenty-six years ago. This one thought she would have shed a few tears, but none came. Will she ever grieve, or will she just carry on the way she has been? Happy to know that Nan and Grandad are now finally together after being apart for so many years.
It was good to be able to quickly talk to her hubby and Master,just letting them know how things went so they would not worry about this one, or maybe not half as much. She thinks They were very happy to hear from this one knowing all went well.
Well, with this episode over, she feels it is time to begin to seriously think more about how she feels and what she truly wants and needs.
Now the nicer weather is slowly starting to come, she is looking forward to going out for her nature walks and who knows, she may even be able to put pen to paper and write some poetry or even some erotic stories, just like she used to.
There is so much to think about and sort out in her mind. One step at a time, one day at a time and at the right time things shall begin to work out and look much clearer once she is able to lift the clouds from her mind and able to concentrate on the important topics.
She is still trying to comprehend how she can be falling more in love with someone who she has only known for a few months (if that), yet still deeply love her husband. How can this be? Why is this happening to her? What is she supposed to be learning from this? Maybe the answers shall be found, once her mind begins to become less clouded.