Today has been a day of learning more about myself and my Master.
Although I learn at least one thing on a daily basis, today was different. After many years of running away from something unknown to me, today was the day I realised just what/whom I was running from. Thinking about it now my past actions have been rather silly, as I have found I have been running away from my innerself. Well, duh, one cannot run away from oneself, no matter how she may try or how long she tires it. Whatever is inside her will never go away, only pushed further down, until one day, it rises so high it erupts like lava from a volcano, never to be allowed back in, but to flow over and into the deep valley's below.
The findings were after one decided to make an account on Fetlife and looked through a very long list of many fetishes, realising just how much she either does or is curious about doing. In fact, I shall go as far as saying that I crave many things, to which I knew not before. Though also realising this is something my Master has been trying to show me for a while now. Well, better late than never huh...lol
After my findings, I feel myself craving more and more, not only of the darkness of oneself, but also craving to find the lightness of herself, to which she feels/knows there must be a lot, it is just a matter of finding them, one at a time. I now know, with trust in my Master, I shall learn many many more wonderous things about him and I as time goes by. So when I feel down or depressed, I must look upwards, towards my Master and learn from him, feed from him, drink from him and allow his love and guidance to soak through me.
Although I learn at least one thing on a daily basis, today was different. After many years of running away from something unknown to me, today was the day I realised just what/whom I was running from. Thinking about it now my past actions have been rather silly, as I have found I have been running away from my innerself. Well, duh, one cannot run away from oneself, no matter how she may try or how long she tires it. Whatever is inside her will never go away, only pushed further down, until one day, it rises so high it erupts like lava from a volcano, never to be allowed back in, but to flow over and into the deep valley's below.
The findings were after one decided to make an account on Fetlife and looked through a very long list of many fetishes, realising just how much she either does or is curious about doing. In fact, I shall go as far as saying that I crave many things, to which I knew not before. Though also realising this is something my Master has been trying to show me for a while now. Well, better late than never huh...lol
After my findings, I feel myself craving more and more, not only of the darkness of oneself, but also craving to find the lightness of herself, to which she feels/knows there must be a lot, it is just a matter of finding them, one at a time. I now know, with trust in my Master, I shall learn many many more wonderous things about him and I as time goes by. So when I feel down or depressed, I must look upwards, towards my Master and learn from him, feed from him, drink from him and allow his love and guidance to soak through me.
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