Wednesday, 5th August 2009

Really getting frustrated as no matter what one does, she is unable to get out of the depression she feels herself falling into. She has tried everything she can think of and nothing seems to be working, or at least not for long. It is times like these she misses her hubby, as he would have been able to help her come out of it and get her motivated once again. He knew every part of her mind, heart and spirit and knew what was needed to be done or said. If only she could remember everything he did or said, so she would be able to get ack to normal. She should have listened and took in more, while she had a chance. Now she feels she is alone again in this matter,as she does not expect anyone to know what to do to help. She will just have to ride through this and hope and pray she comes out of it sooner rather than later.
While i am feeling this way, it is hard to keep a smile and a cheery composition.It only takes something simple to start me off. I truly wish Master would just step back a little, especially when I am feeling like this. Many times this week I have found myself trying to hold onto my tongue so i would not say something i would regret after calming down. Most of it is to do with sexual stuff. it is not that i do not wish the sexual stuff, that could not be further from the truth, but what i do not think Master knows is how to help someone or be when being round someone with depression. Though even when he has been joking about other things, i have found myself snapping at him as i just cannot deal with some things at this moment.
I am trying not get to the stage of depression, which would result in going onto anti-depression tablets, as they are so addictive and i have enough adictions to cope with, without another one.